Learning to Trust

Looks like it's my turn to blog barf... :)

So, the last two months, the last month in particular have been a particular challenge for me. I've had a very difficult time at work, but, today I received some very good news.

I will be staying at HVE next year. I am so pleased, relieved, and happy. For most of the year, there has been some question as to whether that would be an option for me - a lot due to some misunderstandings, and, honestly, some biased opinions.

It has been interesting to me, going through this trial, and reflecting on it, how easily recognizable the hand of the Lord has been in my life. I have learned a lot about how the Spirit communicates with me, and, that while He is an unchangeable God, the answers that are right beyond a shadow of a doubt, may not remain correct through the duration of a trial or situation.

I have been blessed with good home teachers, supportive family members, and phenomenal friends who have been such blessings in my life. I truly would not have made it without their confidence in me, their counsel, their encouragement, and their help.

As my friend mentioned near the beginning of this trial, "There is a difference between what we think we can become, and what the Lord knows we can become. He will always take us there if we don't give up on Him first."

This is the first time in my life that I haven't given up on the Lord when things got hard, before the trial was really over. I have learned SO much!

As my bishop put it today, praying and then doing the best you can while trusting in the Lord, works wonders. As Elder Maxwell once put it, "The more we know of Jesus, the more we will love Him. The more we know of Jesus, the more we will trust Him."

Among all of the other things I have learned in the last few months, that has been the greatest lesson - to simply trust.

The Draper Temple Dedication

This past Sunday I had the privilege of attending the Draper Temple dedication with Brian, Stacey, Tyler, Carter, and Stacey's parents. At the beginning, they showed a video of the inner rooms of the temple, which I had the opportunity to walk through during the open house two months ago. I was reminded of the feelings I had as I went through the open house - the feelings of love, of peace, of home. And, the overwhelming feeling that I would be entering those sacred rooms myself very soon.

What a blessing it has been for me to watch this temple from its announcement to it's dedication. I can't wait until I have the opportunity to enter those sacred doors. this temple will always hold a special and sacred place in my heart, as will the people I have shared this experience with.

It Happens...

So, I heard a song twice on my way home today that totally epitomized my day. :)
When you have to be at school (30 minutes away), five minutes after you wake up, it is cause for a string of various expletives to begin the day. :)
However, I didn't get pulled over by the Provo Canyon cop who pulled the person 2 cars in front of me over instead (thankfully, b/c I would have deserved it). So, a shout out to the person who took my ticket for me. And needless to say, even with the less-than-ideal start, Someone was definitely looking out for me!
I made it to school, and teaching today was fine. And, my important meeting today was ok as well.
Without sounding prideful, I'd also like to pat myself on the back for being able to laugh through it all today. So, when I heard this song on the way home, I laughed REALLY hard! Enjoy!

It Happens by Sugarland (tactful, almost-expletives omitted)

Missed my alarm clock ringing
Woke up telephone screaming
Boss man singing his same old song

Rolled in late about an hour
No cup of coffee, no shower
Walk of shame with two different shoes on

Now it is poor me, why me, oh me
Boring the same old worn out blah blah story
There is no good explanation for it at all

Ain't no rhyme or reason
No complicated meaning
Ain't no need to over think it
Let go laughing
Life don't go quite like you planned it
We try so hard to understand
Irrefutable, indisputable
The fact is
It happens

My trusty-rusty had a flat
I borrowed my neighbors Cadillac
"I'll be right back," going down to Wally World
That yellow light turned red too quickly
Knew that the truck moment it hit me
Out stepped my ex and his new girl
("Sorry 'bout your neck baby")

But it is poor me, why me, oh me
Boring the same old worn out blah blah story
There is no good explanation for it at all

Ain't no rhyme or reason
No complicated meaning
Ain't no need to over think it
Let go laughing
Life don't go quite like you planned it
We try so hard to understand
Irrefutable, indisputable
The fact is
It happens

Ain't no rhyme or reason
No complicated meaning
Ain't no need to over think it
Let go laughing
Life don't go quite like you planned it
We try so hard to understand
Irrefutable, indisputable
The fact is
It happens

Yeah, the irrefutable, indisputable, absoluteable, totally beautiful fact is
It happens

Insights from Stake Conference

So, Elder Ballard came to our stake conference today. It was a spectacular meeting, and it was exactly what I needed to get me through another week. It has been a rough month, and the last two weeks especially have been particularly difficult, with at least two more hard ones to go. But, I've been learning a lot, and so, here come my jumbled, but poignant thoughts...

Hymn #270 - I'll Go Where You Want Me to Go - "So trusting my all to thy tender care, And knowing thou lovest me, I'll do thy will with a heart sincere: I'll be what you want me to be." This is something that I've always had a hard time with. I like to think that I know what's best for my life, but, I do know He loves me. So, if I know He loves me, I need to trust Him - trust that He knows what's best for me, and that He will help me, and for once, let go of what I want.

A couple weeks ago, a friend said something interesting to me. He said, There's a difference between what we think we're capable of, and what the Lord knows we're capable of. And the Lord will always get us to our potential if we don't give up on Him first. He will never give up on us. I realized that in my life, when something is hard, or hurts, I have often backed down, given up, or let go of that thing. This is the first time I have faced something that has literally broken my heart and beaten me to a pulp, and yet, I haven't given up. I haven't quit because what my friend told me is true. I have simply resolved within myself that I'm not going to back down or give up until the Lord tells me it's over. I've thought about that a lot in the last few weeks, and truthfully, it's gotten me through the rougher days.

President Quigley, our stake president, talked about Overcoming Feelings of Inadequacy, and offered the following 3 steps:
1 - Remember Who You Are - We need to learn to see ourselves as the Savior sees us, especially by studying our Patriarchal blessings. If we follow the promises there, and develop the talents and gifts we've been given, greater blessings will follow.
2 - Believe in Yourself - believe the promises that you have received. When you know you are right with the Lord, you wax strong in confidence before man. Only compare yourself with your own potential. The Lord has promised to be with us, and to protect us.
3 - Cling to the Gospel - read, study and learn for yourself. Go forward with faith, listening for the voice from the Lord reassuring, "I love you".

President Thunnell, a member of our stake presidency, talked about becoming a Light for the Savior, in the following 3 ways:
1 - Choose Wisely - Our choices determine our happiness, therefore obedience and proper priorities are essential. We have the power to act, the consequences being confidence, peace, comfort, and happiness.
2 - Search Diligently - Fill your life with spiritual essentials, the gospel must be written in our hearts.
3 - Love Completely - Charity is Christlike love. Be anxious to love those around you and focus outside yourself.

Elder Stone talked about knowing who we are. It reminded me of something one of my students told me this week, "Miss Herring, you're my sister!" They have such a keen sense of who they are, and who we all are - and will remind me if I let them. Heavenly Father has chosen eternally to be a parent. He cares just as much and more than, and in the same way as our mortal parents, friends, and others who love us. Knowing who we are and His love for us changes everything!

Elder Ballard, of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, also talked about knowing who we are. When we left the Spirit World, we knew we were eternal, we knew that if we were alright inside that everything would turn out right, and we shouted for joy at the opportunity to come here, knowing the difficulties, and joys, that we would face. Priesthood blessings are directly from the Lord, in His name, and by his literal power - those promises are literal, and binding. Our Spirits are the most important part of ourselves, and are nourished when we serve in the name of the Lord - then we are entitled to Heaven's aid. It is wonderful, and amazing that the Spirit of the Lord speaks to our Spirits - we must follow those promptings. Once we know and understand who we are, we would do nothing that would offend our Spirits. At the end of his talk, he left us with an apostolic blessing, that we would have all we need to be happy and at peace.

I have realized over the last couple of days that I have been letting the challenges I have been facing at work to get in the way of the essential things of life. I am a daughter of God with great potential, and my calling as a teacher began long before I came to this earth - and no one can take that away from me, unless I allow them to shake my confidence, and I am done with that. I am returning to the basic, essential things, and letting the rest fall into place.

I know who I am, and I know that I am loved by an omniscient, and omnipresent God, and brother. I know because today, the sun shone warmly on my face, the sky was blue, a robin looked at me from a bush, and snow crunched underfoot. I know because my needs are met daily. I know because today I met a 3-year-old who started a snowball fight with me, just to enjoy the day. I know because I have an inspired Relief Society president who called just to check in. I know because I got to see friends today that I haven't seen in a long while, and who I know care about me. I know because I have friends that see not only my potential, but my current abilities, and remind me of them when I forget. I know because I have parents who love me too. And most powerfully, I know I am loved because in every talk and song and prayer today, His Spirit whispered to my Spirit, "I love you." I felt it, and I know it.

A few of my favorite things...

about Springtime!

Ok, so, being in Utah, I'm sure the last few days have been just a sneak peek, but, it has put me in a splendid mood, and made me think about all of my favorite things about Springtime! So, in no particular order, here they are.

~ green! - The brown disappears, and the green returns. Glorious day!
~ sunshine
~ flowers
~ warm breezes
~ fresh air
~ pastel colors
~ baby animals~
~ miniature Reese's in pastel wrappers - 4 colors to choose from.
~ soft grass
~ Easter
~ General Conference
~ short sleeves
~ walks
~ bike rides
~ driving with the windows down
~ open windows
~ Spring Break
~ road trips
~ giggling, running children playing outside
~ the Draper Temple dedication

Everything's Amazing, Nobody's Happy

Wow. So, I saw this video via my friend's facebook page, via his friend sharing it with him, and their friend sharing it, etc.

I don't know about you, but, I had a lot to learn from this clip. I could be a little more patient, and a lot more grateful for the absolutely amazing world we live in.

Enjoy!

Attitude Adjustment

I'm sure we all have our own personal trials to deal with. And, although the last two weeks have been emotional for me, these videos, from talks I have pondered the last few weeks, have uplifted and inspired me to hope, as I was recently reminded, for better things to come.





This one's a bit blurry, but, Elder Holland is my favorite apostle, and while his talks have always comforted my heart, this one has been especially poignant lately.

A Perfect Valentine's Day

Ahh, the joys of modern technology! I post something fun on my facebook status and the world needs an explanation! So, here it is... my definition of a perfect Valentine's Day.

So, my roommate and I were reading in Schooled Magazine last week, and as a joke read their section on Valentine's Day - and how to spend a date-less one. It rambled a lot about not getting down, and then it gave lots of pretty good advice about pampering yourself, giving to others, and celebrating dessert.

At that point, I pretty much already had most of my plans for Valentine's Day laid out, and was impressed with my own ability to follow the advice of "the experts" without having read it first. I think I'm finally getting the hang of this single and thriving thing!

So here's how it went down:
Thursday, I had a Valentine's party with my students. That was fun! Then we went ice skating on Friday which was also quite enjoyable!

Spent Friday evening hanging out with some friends, then went out to a nice restaurant with my roommate. We joked about leaving notes to our cute waiter, but then my roommate actually did! We came home quite giggly and watched You've Got Mail, one of our all-time favorite chick flicks! And of course, being me, I promptly fell asleep (I didn't even make it through the opening sequence)!

Saturday morning I was woken up quite early, which actually ended up being a very good thing, because I had to take my car in for some repairs. My roommate and I went out and got breakfast at Kneaders, our all-time favorite breakfast spot. Then we splurged on ourselves and others at a flower shop, bringing home beautiful bouquets to brighten our apartment. After all that, we went out to lunch, which we brought home so we could enjoy it while watching P.S. I Love You, and the snow falling outside. About the time we finished that my best friends showed up with my adopted nieces and nephews. We played while their parents went to the temple. I love those kids, and it was a total blast, although we didn't do a single one of the Valentine's activities I had thought of. Their parents came back bearing gifts of pizza and cookies, so, we were quite excited! After pizza we made books, which is a new favorite pastime of mine! It was great! It was a long, exhausting day - but the good kind of exhausted, the kind that makes you go to sleep completely content with the world. And I was.

Probably the best part of the day was that I never once thought about the fact that I didn't have a significant other, or that I haven't been on a date in awhile - and I stayed away from the situations and people that would dwell on those facts. First of all, neither of those things bother me, because I'm happy and I know that will happen for me eventually. Secondly, I was surrounded by lots of wonderful things yesterday - beautiful flowers, quality entertainment, good food, and most importantly, people I love! That, dear reader, is what Valentine's Day is about - spending time with those you love, whether they be friend, significant other, spouse, parent, or child. It's just about being together! That is why my Valentine's Day was absolutely perfect!

Something to be Proud of...

My mom turns 50 today!!!

So, my mom is about the coolest person I know! She is strong, kind, loving, and patient. I will be forever grateful for all of the things that she and my dad have taught me over the years. It is one of the greatest blessings of my life to develop a friendship and sisterhood with her as I have grown older.

So Mom, happy birthday! And here is my tribute to you:


To be continued...

"A day without laughter is a day wasted." ~Charlie Chaplin

This morning, living on very little sleep, I managed to remember the sizeable list of things I needed to take with me to school. I must admit I was rather pleased with myself, and my pleasure was increased with an early morning visit from my friend’s daughter, coming to tell me they had parked by me this morning – which she was very excited about!

Teaching went quite well today. I think we even managed to enjoy learning about geometry and writing today! Never mind the fact that we had 3 office referrals this morning, and not one of the kids could figure out why they had done the thing that got them in trouble! At lunch I finally finished a project I’ve been working on this week in my “spare” time. I was positively giddy at the prospect of finishing it! And, on another note, may I just say I should maybe leave work at school a little more often? It felt good to feel like a whole person – with talents, goals, and relationships that exist even outside of the microcosm that is HVE.

After school, I went to the post office at the last possible second – and managed to get myself locked in and nearly forgotten. Don’t worry, I’m clearly not writing this from a little bed on the floor of the Heber City Post Office – I was able to get someone’s attention, have my package sent, and be escorted out after they had turned off the music, but before they had turned off the lights! On my way out of town I “needed” to go by Dairy Keen and Walker’s, and due to both my impatience, and the lack of traffic lights on Main Street, I had to back track several times, traveling in circles to make it out of town.

I needed to buy gas when I got back to town, and, as a testament to the fact that I am directionally challenged in every way, I got lost on the way to Costco!!! I mean, really, who gets lost on the way to Costco?! In an attempt to correct my absent-minded mistake, I quite literally drove circles around Orem until I finally made it back to Costco and got gas!

After my Costco and other adventures, I headed to Barnes and Noble, which, due to my affinity for bookstores, brings joy all on its own. I went to Barnes and Noble with the intent to buy Nicholas Nickleby, the book and the movie. As I was searching the shelves, I quite randomly recalled the phrase from Little Women spoken by Laurie, “Jo, I’m not taking all of Dickens to college.” I giggled to myself, finally realizing where that phrase originated – at first it literally meant a collection of works by Dickens, which is quite sizeable! And then, of course, thinking of Christian Bale can’t help but bring a smile. ::swoon:: I found everything I was looking for and more, and was walking out, when I passed a young gentleman in a suit, a drink in his hand, scouring the back of a book. ::swoon:: Once again, a side note. What is it exactly about young men in suits – then with the added bonus of not being afraid to look intellectual instead of ultra macho. Again, I say ::swoon:: Now, please do not take that the wrong way, I’m merely stating, there is something quite attractive about such a sight. The last bonus being that said gentleman parked next to me, and followed me out.  Which, of course reminded me of Whitney, and a scene from the movie I just purchased: “Hilda! I’m engaged!" "To who?" "The new school teacher!" "What’s he said?!" "We don’t need language…" "Did he look at you like this? If he did, you’re engaged, that’s how John looked at me." "When’s the day?" "Well, we just need a final declaration, but he’s shy in the way of words…” Hee hee!

Then, I got home and was attempting to carry everything in all at once – we’re talking 4 bags, a giant binder, and a melted milkshake. Please imagine for me, if you will, me, with my arms full, trying to navigate a parking lot of solid ice in shoes with no tread, while attempting not to spill a milkshake or get it on me, while being unwilling to trash such a delicacy. I made it to the door, and then realized my keys were in my pocket. So, I rang the doorbell, and after a few seconds of waiting, began shifting my various parcels to the other hand, at which time, my roommate arrived at the door! I walked in, put my bags down, and after my roommate had locked and bolted the door, I had to unlock and unbolt the door and get the milkshake, which I had left on the ground while attempting to move the parcels.

So, after such a laughable day, I decided that I should proclaim the hilarity for all to enjoy. As any self-respecting facebook-er would do, I grabbed my computer and started writing a note. After writing quite wittily for 20 minutes, I forgot I was typing on facebook, hit the “back” button, and lost the whole thing, and had to retype it all!

So, today, I tip my hat to things to laugh at, and good friends to laugh with!

"Kindred spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. It's splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world."

I've been on a bit of an Anne of Green Gables kick recently. Considering that I've watched all 3 movies about a billion times, the most recent bout the past 3 days, you will be shocked to learn that I have actually never read any of the books all the way through. Yes it's true. But, at least the first one is on my must read soon list.

So, today as I was driving home from work, I had a feeling that took me a good few minutes to identify. Having experienced an emotional roller coaster of a few weeks, it was novel to find that I didn't know exactly what I was feeling right when I felt it. This feeling turned out to be a mild form of restlessness - a feeling that is nigh unto a constant companion of mine, but, rarely in mild form. After feeling such utter peace and calm this weekend, I was intrigued by the reappearance of my companion.

I've always been told that what I long for deep down (yes the m-word, or an e.c.), would happen when I least expected it, and when I wasn't focused on it. I would honestly have to say that that would have to describe me in the last few weeks. I still long for it, who doesn't, but it's not been the focus of even my subconscious thoughts. And, as I've felt exceptionally protected and guided lately, I've wondered if that could be part of it.

This is all an extremely round about way of getting to my point... As I was feeling this restlessness, and realizing that I would be taken care of and there was no reason to feel that way, my thoughts turned to the people that have recently been the instruments of my protection and welfare. It wasn't until I got home that I finally found the word to describe them, because "friend" doesn't quite cover it.

I have been blessed with many a kindred spirit in my life. Interestingly, they come in all shapes and sizes, and occasionally unanticipated forms. There's the neighbor next door, down the hall, across the parking lot, or across the town; the teacher next door or down the hall; the sibling, parent, aunt, uncle, cousin, or grandparent; the youth group leader, teacher, and even, on occasion, the inanimate object. Yes, with my vivid, and often overactive imagination, even books, or at least the characters residing there can be kindred spirits.

They are the ones that I can't imagine living without, no matter the distance or circumstance that separates us. Whether by a note, a Christmas card, a phone call, a visit, or even the occasional blog post, they are the ones who can span time and distance to pick up where we left off, no matter the changes that have come, whose care and concern never cease to amaze me. They are the ones who will make an eternity in heaven worthwhile.

In a world which is often frightening, disheartening, disappointing, heartbreaking, and even dangerous, what comfort and solace it brings to feel and understand, that, truly, kindred spirits are not scarce, but quite abundant if you simply open your eyes and heart to recognize them. For the kindred spirits in my life, I am forever grateful.

Gazing into Eternity

I went to the Draper Temple Open House last night with my adopted siblings, niece, and nephews. It was spectacular - a perfect end to a less-than-perfect week. I had been worried that I wouldn't be able to feel the Spirit there because of my personal turmoil and emotions. When I voiced those concerns a week ago, Brian told me that all of that would wash away. He was right.

The temple was breathtakingly beautiful, and the Spirit there so profound. I've grown up always knowing that I wanted to be married in the temple. I am only beginning to understand what that means. As I gazed into the mirrors symbolizing eternity and saw spouses together, and parents holding their children, reflected for eternity, I could not begin to imagine finding a man that I would love enough to be here with and to build a family with. But I know that I will, and part of me feels that it is very soon. Again, I felt an urgency to prepare to enter that sacred place.

Walking into the Bride's room and then the Celestial room, and finally the Sealing room, I knew I wanted to return there. It felt like home, and truly those concerns, fears, and frustrations I had felt all week were washed away.

I have never wanted to go to the temple, and to receive those covenants and ordinances more than I did last night.

"The Greatest Thing You'll Ever Learn is Just to Love and be Loved in Return."

Thank you Moulin Rouge. Ok, I don't know where that quote actually came from, but, that's where I heard it. I've been on a Moulin Rouge kick lately. Ok, mostly just 4 out of the 13 songs on the soundtrack, with the corresponding sequences in the movie. I think I mostly like the movie just for the music, and two of my favorite actors/actresses: Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman. A) The music is phenomenal in my humble opinion. B) Ewan McGregor is an attractive man. C) I know it's weird, but, I learned something from the show. Listening to the music and watching parts of the movie has gotten me to thinking about the things I've learned about love and marriage from those of my friends who are already married, as I am, as yet, single. So, instead of sending a shout-out for my current-favorite actor, I decided I'd send a few of those things I've learned out into the void instead.

~ If they love you, you can see it in their eyes.
~ Talk with each other.
~ See the best in each other.
~ Keep it simple - the basics are vital
~ Together you can handle much more than you ever could alone.
~ Children are always perfect.
~ Read with your children.
~ Fight for each other, your children, and what's right.
~ Be patient.
~ Laugh.
~ Dance.
~ Be understanding.
~ Respect each other
~ Love does not imply a lifetime of comfort and ease, but it guarantees ultimate happiness.

Truly, "the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return."

To increase in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.

After some great talks on Sunday it's time for my yearly goals post. Last year, I waited until July to post some goals, and they weren't really resolutions. This year, I feel I need to be more specific, but before I do, how about another goals update of the big five.

Goals Review
1. Amateur astronomy - Well, I got my laser pointer - two in fact, and binoculars - now I just have to keep a steady stream of batteries, and get away from the city lights a little more often. Actually, I feel like I've done a good job with this one. I'm more familiar with the sky, and it constantly fascinates me. However, I don't think this goal is the type that can ever be "checked off" the list. :)
2. Get out of debt and become financially stable - Uh, I made huge payments with my Christmas bonus and gifts. :/ However, I haven't touched the personal finance class. Lame, I know. However, all my payments are now successfully set up for automatic withdrawal, and I make extra payments when I can. Yay me!
3. Italy - I started a savings account again. I guess this kind of goes along with #2, but, yeah, I drained my previous one during college, and now I've started one again. Back to Italy, I have no immediate time frame, but, I figure saving money is a good start.
4. A Master's Degree - Well, I quit both a reading and math endorsement program over the course of 2 months. I apparently can't hack it as teacher and student, at least not right now with the extra stuff I'm doing at school. I did, however, take a serious look at the University of Northern Colorado when we were down there. Now I'm just trying to decide if I should quit teaching and go back to school, or find a program I can do while teaching, if this is still as important to me as it was. And I'm trying to decide what to specialize in. I'm leaning more toward Special Education than anything else, actually.
5. Spanish - Yep, absolutely no movement on this one yet. I'm all about baby steps.

This Year's Resolutions
After some particularly wonderful talks on Sunday, I've decided that I will have 4 main goals this year, in four categories, with plans attached. So, here we go.

Increase in Wisdom - For this one, I've decided that I need to study for at least an hour 3 days a week. The Plan: I've got those two Independent Study courses I'm working on - astronomy and personal finance - not to mention a book study at work and other education research I could be doing. So, I figure if I spend Tuesdays on Astronomy, Wednesdays on Personal Finance, and Thursdays on Education (book study or other topics), then I've got a good study habit going that may help me with goal #4 above.

Increase in Stature - I know this is cliche, but, I want to be healthier. I have this habit of eating out a lot, but I'd like to get over that, and exercise more. I love going hiking and stuff, but it's not always particularly pleasant. The Plan: I need to get healthier, easy-to-make stuff at home - and eat it! And I need to find something I enjoy doing - swimming, biking, walking - and do it for 30 minutes at least 3 days a week. Again, it's all about the baby steps. Or maybe I'll start using my pedometer again. That was a fun little motivator.

In Favor with God - Lately, I've felt this urgency to prepare to go to the temple. There's lots of little aspects to that, but, that is my over-all goal. The Plan: The baby steps with that are 1) keep up with our family BoM reading schedule (part of helping Ty prepare for his mission), 2)go to the temple at least monthly, 3)keep up with tithing, fasting, etc., 4) work on the prayer report-back thing by writing briefly, twice-daily in my journal - once in the morning, once in the evening, setting goals and reporting back, and 5) include the Lord in all aspects of my life (not which can of food I'll buy, but, especially in my work life).

In Favor with Man - That sounds a little different, but let's simplify it to a social goal. I want to work on having better language. Now, I don't curse like a sailor, but, I could improve the words I use in frustration and anger, and work on avoiding the appearance of gossip and other negative forms of talk. The Plan: This one's my favorite plan! The first part of the plan, is to be fully active in my old/new ward. Yep, I'm having my records transferred back - at least that's the idea - we'll get the official word on Sunday. Phase one of the plan includes attending all Sunday meetings, FHE, Institute, and as many of the other activities as I can, with the idea being that I will develop and improve lasting relationships, and surround myself with people who uplift and encourage me to be my best self. Phase two of the plan is just to be more aware of myself and my speech, and to consciously make it as positive and uplifting as possible, especially with my students and co-workers.

Reflections of an Oldest Child

There are a few choice blessings afforded to those of us privileged enough to be the oldest in the family. Granted, some are definitely blessings in disguise - having stricter curfews and "harsher" rules. But others are pretty nice perks - getting undivided Mom & Dad time for years, building the parent-child friendship first, generally being first at just about everything (driving, college, etc.). Also, if you're LDS and your parents are cool enough to have eternal callings in the youth program, you get some more undivided parent time, not to mention daddy daughter dances. As you get older, there is the added bonus of getting to chapperone your younger siblings' dances.

Yes, it's true. I am old enough to do that - the privilege is afforded to anyone over the age of 21. Now, as much as I complained and poked fun (because truly the music hasn't changed in the almost 10 years since I first started coming; but the stake "mixer intervention" ratio has drastically increased!) it was pretty entertaining!

I was also made aware of how cool it really was to have my dad at stake dances. As I watched him with my sister tonight, swooping in at the exact right moment, I wondered how many times he did that for me.

Yep, it's true. I have the coolest dad ever. And when I come home, I still get daddy-daughter dance privileges. How's that for oldest child privileges?

Yes, I stole this from Marae...

But, c'mon, it's not that personal, and why not send a to-do list out into the void. Maybe it'll help keep me straight, in lieu of having my nifty sticky note/to-do list widgets on my computer that I no longer use daily. So, in no particular order:

Before I leave
Go to Monticello and purchase a thimble.
Pack to head back to Utah
Plan ahead 2 weeks for school (including next week's newsletter).
Make emergency sub plans
Get a haircut
Ship some of my stuff back to Utah (ridiculous, I know, but I've never, ever, been a light packer - have bag, will fill to the brim!)
Finish mom's book
Make a skirt with my new sewing machine!!!
Return the sewing machine bag that is probably not necessary to get my aforementioned gift back to Utah via carry-on luggage!
See the grandparents, and as many uncles and cousins as possible at least one more time before leaving
Find a ride from the airport

When I get back
Clean my car
Revamp the emergency supplies at school and in the vehicle.
Unpack
Figure out when church is and settle that whole arrangement.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!!!!

Ok, I'm pretty this point has already been made - many times. That aside, it's still very, very true! As much as I have loved Heber (or at least one particular part of it), I love being home in Virginia! I was texting a friend from Heber on my way home from the airport, and we were joking around, but then I realized - and it has continued to be true - that we are finally getting to the point where the eternal families thing is no longer hypothetical, but, more frequently feels like a literal and immediate reality!

This Christmas has been wonderful! I've enjoyed the time with my brother, sister, parents, and extended family. We've enjoyed watching old home movies, and just telling stories and laughing! I've played with my adorable puppies, and my sweet cousins. It's just how it should be!

What an amazing blessing this time of year is! A time to spend with cherished family and friends - to reminisce about Christmases past, and to make new memories. Yes, my friends, Walla Balla is coming back!!!

This Christmas has been made particularly special thanks to dear friends, and the fact that we, as a family were not focused on the getting. We gave few, but thoughtful gifts, and spent time coming up with fun activities that we could do together, and with our extended family! It's been just wonderful! So, thank you everyone for making it such a special holiday, and Merry Christmas!

The point

I've had some great experiences this week. A friend and I went on a date up to our former Bishop's house and helped them decorate for Christmas. Our date was lots of fun! My friend wasn't quite ready when I came over, and I had the opportunity to sit and wait in a very quiet apartment. My apartment is never quiet, and that was a really nice change. During that time I felt prompted to call a family that I've become really close to in Heber, and offer to watch their kids so the parents could go on a date. It's something I've been thinking about for awhile, but this time I finally resolved to do it.

So, on Friday, after coming home briefly, I drove back to Heber and took their kids to Swiss Christmas, while their parents went to dinner and a couple of book stores in Provo. The kids were SO good, and we had so much fun! I especially loved taking them to the creche exhibit and feeling the Spirit there. Their parents came home around 10:30 and we showed off the gingerbread house we had made, and they showed us the books they got. The kids went to bed at midnight, and then we adults stayed up talking until 3 am, and then we finally all went to bed. I stayed in their spare room.

Saturday, we all slept in and then got up and had breakfast, watched movies, played games, ran errands, and even worked on a truck. It felt like a quiet, relaxing Saturday. Finally, at 5:30, we got in our separate vehicles, me heading to Provo, them to Spanish Fork for a nephew's baptism. Well, around 10:30, I got a text from them, saying that they had seen my car in the parking lot. It turned out that they had missed the baptism because they had been told the wrong time, and had gone to the family dinner and then geocaching instead. I told them that sounded like fun. She sarcastically responded, "Yea everyone squished in the truck screaming and crying. Such a peaceful life!" I laughed and responded, "Maybe not peaceful but still always an adventure and so worth it! Thanks for letting me come this weekend! Be safe on your drive back!" She said, "Come anytime! Yes they are worth it! I told [my 4-year-old] to go to sleep. He said he can't cause there is water in his eyes. I told him there is water in his eyes because he is tired. So now he is going to sleep!" I laughed.

As I have struggled with other relationships in my life, their family has been a constant source of joy and absolute belonging for me. It's interesting, but I finally know what it feels like to have an older brother that got married, now complete with nieces and nephews. It feels so good to feel like a part of a family while I'm so far away from my own. I have cousins that aren't too far away, but, feeling that way with people I see almost daily is different, but so nice.

All of these experiences coupled with Christmas decorations and Christmas music has helped me to re-focus myself on the Savior and the point of this season. What a glorious thing it is to have the gospel and to understand the eternal nature of families and relationships. I've noticed the things that make all relationships and specifically marriages work, and the qualities that I need to develop in my own life. I have learned what it is to serve faithfully and without seeking recognition. I have learned what it means to be faithful and diligent in living the gospel - and then to be able to not only desire, but to expect blessings because of that faithful diligence.

Not one of the people I have learned from is perfect. But, they are striving, and they have impacted my life greatly. I am forever grateful for their friendship, and my opportunity to learn from them. This truly is the point. The point of life, and especially, the purpose of a Babe born in a stable far away, who taught us all, by example, the principles of a happy, joyous life both here, and in the life to come. For Him, His Atonement and His unfailing love for me, and each of us I am grateful, and of them I bear witness, with the hope that you may seek to know Him better this Christmas season - for it is Him we celebrate.

The Loaded Question

Happy Thanksgiving! I love the holiday season (as made perfectly clear in at least 3 of my most recent posts). I love seeing friends and family that I haven't seen in ages. During the catching-up phase, there's always what has become for me, a loaded question: "How are things at work? Are you going to stay there next year?" Now, no one at work knows about my blog, so, I'm safe in saying here that I'm not positive that I'm going to stay. I've been there for going on 3 years now, if you include my undergraduate work. But, recently I've been feeling an urgency to figure out what I'm going to do next year - and :: gasp :: that could mean moving on. So here are the options I'm debating. There's basically 3:
1 - teach in a different district
2 - do a master's program in Education
3 - stay in my current district/school AND do a Master's program (a two-year program)

Ok, so, I'm not entirely thrilled about #1. We all know how great I am with change and moving districts isn't exactly exciting. But, I do feel like a Master's is good for me right now. The only question is when and where I will get one. Now there's one good reason to stay put and get one here: I have a family there that I'm really close to and I want to teach their daughter next year, and she wants to be in my class really bad. Ok, and there are other reasons - lower cost, more convenient, no thesis, etc.

However, it is still a major debate - one that needs some serious attention from me and soon so I don't miss deadlines and such. So, that's what I've been thinking about on this Thanksgiving day, as I reflected on the blessings in my life and the wonderful people who have influenced my life for good.

Happy Birthday to Me!

My 23rd birthday is in two days. Wow. I love having a birthday close to Thanksgiving, and as that holiday nears each year, I pause to reflect on the joy and fun of birthdays, Thanksgivings and Christmases past.

I love Thanksgiving because it means that Christmas is right around the corner, and with it a myriad of joyful festivities. This year, I'm excited for Jon Schmidt, Eclipse, the First Presidency Devotional, The Polar Express, Temple Square, The Forgotten Carols, A Christmas Carol, and of course, hot chocolate, snow, sledding, sweet deliciousness, and Christmas movies every night!

Last night while watching the BYU v. Utah game, I was reminded of one of the best birthdays I've ever had: My 21st Birthday in 2006. For most LDS kids, the 21st birthday is an anti-climatic event. However, for me it was delightful. The day after Thanksgiving, that year, I sped down to Provo to watch the BYU v. Utah game with my roommate and best friend. I distinctly recall watching 3 seconds of glory with a blanket up to my eyes, holding my breath and jumping on the couch and running around the parking lot afterward.



The evening was complete with my roommate having made me a birthday pie - something only my mother has ever done for me, and thoughtful gifts from friends, window-shopping, and then hot chocolate, Krispy Kremes and a Christmas movie with friends, and a party with my family back in Draper.

As I watched and listened to the BYU v. Utah game and then headed to the Coldplay concert, I was flooded with these memories, and couldn't help but be exceedingly happy, in spite of yesterday's loss. It's ok, I can look back on better sports days, and hope in the idea that one day, former glory will return.