On Being a Single Mother

No, this is in no way, shape, or form an announcement!

With that disclaimer out of the way, I can explain that two of my friends went on a river trip at the end of this week, and I volunteered to babysit their 5 kids (ages 11, 9, 7, 4, and 2) while they were gone. You probably think I'm slightly crazy (my friends did), but these kids are just like family, and so I was excited at the prospect. Well, to say the least, it was an adventure!

Let me begin by mentioning that my friend, who is the mother of these kids, reminded me a few times before they left that there was no cell phone reception and quite literally no way to contact them, even in an extreme circumstance, like one of the kids dying. Ahh! NO! There will be absolutely NO death while you are on this trip - here, there, or anywhere! All jokes aside, it is a weighty matter to be solely responsible for five children, even weightier still when the parents of those children will be gone for 4 days, with literally no contact, and the next of kin are an hour away. A daunting task to say the least.

To top it off, the night before I was supposed to go over to babysit was an adventure all its own. I got stung by a bee and had to take benadryl to prevent an allergic reaction, making me quite drowsy. When I got home around midnight, I chose to eat a bagel with cream cheese (smart, considering I'm lactose intolerant) and watch one episode of my favorite show, Ed, before retiring for the night. When I woke up on my couch, it was 3 am, so I went to grab my cell phone/alarm clock, and made my first realization of the night - I had left my phone in my friend's truck, yes, the very friends who were leaving the next morning and were going to call me so I could head over to begin my babysitting adventure. Excellent. I turned on my computer to attempt the ever-reliable facebook method of communication, and made my second realization of the evening - I am suddenly feeling very sick, as in, I just might pass out. Great. No phone, suspected food poisoning, and I'm going to pass out. Well, considering that the walls in my house are quite sturdy, I made it to my bathroom relying on their strength and whatever contaminants had messed me up promptly exited my body. Nice. Again relying, however less so, on my sturdy walls for strength, I moseyed back out to grab my computer and crawled into bed to begin the process of digital communication. Thanks to a friend and a Verizon wireless internet card, the endeavor was successful.

I woke up the next morning to my friends calling my name and my phone landing on my lap. They "randomly" checked their truck before leaving in their car and spotted my phone, and brought it over to me. Yes folks, that is as much a coincidence as my friend getting online at 3:40 that morning to help me test my internet-texting and my roommate leaving the door unlocked when she left for work at 6 that morning. Two hours later the real adventures began.

Day One consisted of watching the kids play, and begin rehearsals for the "movie" they want to perform for the neighborhood in the next couple of days. I got to figure out how to use the microwave rice cooker (which is a really cool little contraption, I just didn't know how to use it, at first, but I learned!), and unexpectedly pick up my roommate from work in Provo because she was sick. And of course, right after bedtime, a thunderstorm popped up, so, we postponed bedtime in favor of watching the lightning through the front window.

Day Two was awesome. The rehearsals for the movie continued until the acting company broke up, but not before they decided to walk the neighborhood in their costumes inviting their friends to come to their show. My directionally-challenged-ness was compounded that evening on the way to Pack Meeting by the rain. Yes friends, it was an outdoor pack meeting. But never fear, prayer works - they prayed the rain would be withheld until we were done, and it was, and when it started raining again after the closing prayer, that was our cue to leave, and of course find a geocache on our way home. At Pack Meeting, the eleven-year-old received his Webelo and Arrow of Light Awards. The Webelo award wasn't a problem, but, no one warned me I had to have artistic ability as acting mother for the Arrow of Light Ceremony! In the back of my mind, I'm cursing my friend, thinking, "C'mon Mr. Scout Master! You couldn't have clued me in so that I could at least paint the arrow correctly?!?!" We giggled our way through it, and he and his brother got all of their awards, with plenty of fun pictures to boot!

Day Three consisted of the kids playing with some of their friends, which made life easy. We then decided to have dinner at my house (I learned how to use a wok!), and were going to swim until the thunderstorms started. So, we pulled out the sofa bed, which was a HUGE hit, and watched The Land Before Time and Harry Potter.

Day Four, at the end of the day, was entertaining. We had planned to go to the zoo, but when it was storming again, we decided against it in favor of waiting out the storms and swimming instead. The sun DID come out, but it was still below 70 all day, and they were doing work on my pool, so we couldn't get in. Again we opted for movies instead, with a light sprinkling of games throughout the day. By the end of the day, we decided that a visit to the McDonald's Play Place was in order to get rid of a bit of energy. About that time, Mom and Dad called to say they were on their way home, so, we headed home for bathtime and a movie. I learned not to ask a 7-year-old to draw the bath water without supervision - she chose to empty what remained of the bubblebath (about 1/10 of the pretty-large bottle) in. Needless to say, the three little kids looked like Santa Clause, and I'm not sure who was wetter at the end of it all - me, or the kids.

All in all, it was a fun adventure. I learned that there is divine wisdom in the fact that children generally come one a time - it's hard to learn with five, although the age spread was a definite blessing, considering that the big kids were really good to help out! I learned the proper way to paint the Arrow of Light. I was glad to have a friend call and check on us every day, and be ready to help at the drop of a hat. I also learned to appreciate the silence at the end of the day, knowing that all five of the kids were safe, and resting peacefully. I wish that I had kept a quote board of the funny things the kids said that made me giggle. "I scared the cwap out of Miss Herring!" (following the sudden appearance of the 4-year-old in dinosaur costume), "My did it!" (everytime the 2-year-old escaped his self-made blanket fort), etc. I had a lot of fun, but it will be nice to sleep in my own bed, without companions! :D

(Top) Ten Things to do instead of go to sleep...

10. Go camping and worry about bears or other large carnivores coming to eat you.
9. Listen to others around you snore, or grind their teeth, etc. (generally occurs on a campout, in a hotel room, if you have a slumber party somewhere, or if you're married and/or have children).
8. Think deeply about things or are otherwise unable to make your brain shutdown into "sleep" mode.
7. Watch a movie.
6. Go star-gazing.
5. Read a book.
4. Play a facebook game and/or obsessively update your status, comment on your friends' posts and/or take facebook quizzes
3. Talk and/or giggle with a friend or roommate.
2. A combination of #'s 4 and 3. (If you can do #'s 3, 4, and 5, you're a master multitasker!)
1. Find a geocache. (What else would I put here?!)

*Note: If you are married and disagree with my #1 statement, there's no need to comment, we already know, but, as I'm not married, that's not an option. :)

An announcement

It is 10 pm, and rather than get sucked into a facebook game, I am turning my computer off and going back to my apartment and quite possibly going to bed. It's 10 pm. This is revolutionary. Maybe I have the willpower to become diurnal again after all!

The end.

How clever am I?!

So, I just posted this on my roommate's Wall on Facebook. I felt it was clever, and blog-worthy, especially in my currently sleep-deprived state. I hope you enjoy it, and that it makes you giggle:

Dear Annaleigh*,
Crap! Just realized I forgot to tell you where I was, until now. So, to take the edge off the 1 AM text, it's coming via facebook, which has inherent excitement attached: I'm staying in Draper tonight, and then coming home at some point tomorrow after converting my cousins to geocaching, only to turn around as quickly as possible and go to a camping cache event after getting new glasses, and with any luck, a new, functioning star pointer, and my internet thing. BOY HOWDY! What a busy, fun couple of days it's going to be! I hope work was fun, and that if you went/go to Roswell that you are safe and DO NOT get abducted by aliens.
Love,
Your Favorite/Only Roommate :D

*Note: Names have been changed for privacy purposes.

Hee hee hee... I'm giggling internally after re-reading that for the fourth time, being currently sleep deprived and the only person awake in a very quiet house with nine other peacefully-sleeping people. Good night.

"It is a truth universally acknowledged..."

… being an analysis of the social commentary that is the movie He’s Just Not That Into You.

I watched the movie, He’s Just Not That Into You with my roommate Kristin last night, for the second time. The first time I pretty much hated it, but we were amazingly intrigued by this movie last night, and so watched it – with a purpose this time! I watched it with the intent to create this post.

Truth #1: “We’re all encouraged, no programmed to think that if a guy acts like a jerk, he likes you.” No seriously. This is true. We as a society do this to each other. And while the movie was geared toward the women “He’s just not that into you,” but I think it is safe to say that, while it is to a lesser degree, men have their part in this too. I’m sure we’ve all heard about the various signals member of the opposite sex send. Well, we all send them, however, I think generally, we all have a hard time making those signals align with what we actually mean. Then there’s the analysis of those signals – generally, that phase is an all-around disaster! Even, and maybe especially, in mixed company, we can never seem to agree on what those signals meant. While the signals are actually pretty straightforward, since there is some variance from person to person, we can never agree upon what the said signals mean.

Truth #2: “If a guy is treating you like he doesn’t give a [crap], he genuinely doesn’t give a [crap]. No exceptions.” Having been the rule my entire life, I can attest to the truthfulness of this statement. No, really, it’s true. Hence truth #3.

Truth #3: “We’ve got to stop listening to stories like that because we’re not the exception. We’re the rule.” As a corollary to rule #2, this is also exceptionally true! If you’ve never heard some insane story about how someone in the exact same situation as you turned out with some fairy-tale happy ending, please stand up and take a bow, you are the exception. I think we’ve all heard a story, that was probably intended to make us feel better, but which was in fact an exception to the rules.

Truth #4: “I just need you to stop being nice to me, unless you’re going to marry me afterward.” Now, in the context of the movie, this was a legitimate concern – if you’ve been together for 7 years, it’s about time you get married. However, in the context of the real world (as in the non-Hollywood world), what the heck?! Since when does someone being nice to you indicate a desire to marry you?! Um, to all the BYU zoobies, and the members of most LDS singles wards, let me just say that, contrary to what your roommates and friends may tell you, just because he [or she] is nice to you does NOT indicate a desire to marry you – especially if you haven’t been dating each other exclusively for an extended period of time (typically, weeks, is not considered an extended period of time. Contrary to the content of the remainder of this post, there are exceptions to that rule. The extended-period-of-time rule, not the niceness-does-not-necessarily-lead-to-marriage rule).

Truth #5: We all need a friend like Alex, who is brave enough to tell us, “Ok, [insert name here], he’s not interested,” without tip-toeing around our feelings, because he’s “just trying to help.” Really. Being the beneficiary of several such friendships, those friends are seriously invaluable. It is nice to have someone (or several individuals) who will really be honest with you, and who have your best interests at heart. Though what they may tell you hurts a little at first, you still know they love you, and you can depend on them. Oh, and they’re probably game to join you for the recovery movie and ice cream, and probably the associated tears.

Truth #6: “If a guy gives you his number instead of taking yours, he’s not interested in you.” This rule only applies to girls. Boys, if she gives you her number, especially if she comes up with an elaborate plot to do so, she probably is interested, or at least potentially so.

Truth #7: Endorphins make you not think clearly. Don’t exercise with someone that you’re attracted to. Especially if you’re married. Unless that person is your wife. And don’t go skinny-dipping afterward. That’s just a general, common sense rule. In fact, I once had a friend tell me to go running with a guy I was attracted to, because endorphins would make us more attractive to each other. True story. Didn’t do it. Glad I didn’t. He’s happily married, and we’re still friends.

Truth #8: If he [or she] interrupts a date or make-out session to talk to another girl [or guy], for any reason, he’s [or she’s] just not that into you. RUN! No really, this is true. The reverse is also true. If you find out he interrupted one of the above things for you, then, you can quite possibly take that as an indication that he IS into you. Sorry I can’t prove this with personal experience, haven’t had any. But, I think it is probably true.

Truth #9: “You all (women) eat it up because you love it. You love the drama.” True. Girls, you know it’s true. We are creatures of drama. We do feed off it. Incessantly. It’s actually pretty insane the level of drama we think we need to feel like we’re living. Whether it’s our own, or a friend’s or a friend of a friend’s or a total stranger’s in the news, we totally feed off drama.

Truth #10 (and my personal favorite) “Someday, you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, every story we’re told implores us to wait for it: the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. Sometimes we’re so focused on finding our own happy ending, that we don’t learn how to read the signs, how to tell the ones who want us from the ones who don’t, how to tell the ones who will stay from the ones who will leave. And maybe this happy ending doesn’t include a wonderful guy. Maybe it’s you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over. Freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is just moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this: knowing that through all the unreturned phone calls, the broken hearts, through all the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment, you never ever gave up hope.”: The truth of the matter is, there are happy endings for all of us. We are the exception to someone’s rule, the right one’s rule. But, we are most attractive when we are happy and confident, when we manage to remain level-headed about the whole proposition, but always, above all else, keep that hope that one day we will find our own happily ever after.

100th POST!!! Entitled: The Top Ten Reasons I LOVE the Mountain Valley Stampede

I got to go to the Mountain Valley Stampede (part of Wasatch Co. Fair Days) tonight with some friends I haven't seen in awhile, and several new faces. This is my second year attending, and it is something I seriously look forward to every year, and here is why:

10. It's in Heber, home of genuine cowboys.
9. I got a new cowboy hat for dirt cheap. My old one has been annihilated.
8. They have delicious fry bread - essentially, scone meets navajo taco. DELICIOUS!
7. The announcers are actually pretty funny.
6. They play good music.
5. It is action packed - I seriously saw a bull run a cowboy into the ground tonight.
4. The rodeo clowns and officials are so good, everyone walks away bruised, but rarely bloody and never dead (that I've seen).
3. They have an event called hide racing, which I would personally like to try (not in an arena with 7,000 spectators, but rather in someone's coral on a ranch with no spectators).
2. I see people I know. It's one of the advantages of living where you work when you're a teacher.
1. FIREWORKS! There is a fireworks show at the end, during which they play great music. I LOVE it!

So, if you're ever in Heber City, UT, during the first weekend in August, stop by the Mountain Valley Stampede. You won't regret it! Oh, and if it's Saturday, be sure you're Tough Enough to Wear Pink! :D

This has been the 100th post of A Beautiful Life. I hope you enjoyed the post. This is a pretty momentous occasion!