Ah Saturdays!

So, today is Saturday, and a beautiful (though slightly hot) one at that! Today I have had the opportunity to reflect on how wonderful Saturdays can be.

Since I finished my genetics class, I have marveled at how stress-free my life has become. Yes, I am taking two other classes, and while the homework for those classes takes several hours a night, they don't stress me out. Work is, well work. But I work with such wonderful people, that even the extremely busy times are enjoyable, and we usually end up rolling on the floor laughing, much to the chagrin of our customers and management. It has been so nice to go to sit by the pool and relax just about every day.

Last night, I stayed up late talking to a dear friend of mine, but was able to sleep in - yes, truly sleep in - this morning. I didn't set an alarm and just let my body wake me up at 10 am this morning. It was beautiful! I do have some homework to do, but, well, I have all day!

This evening I get to attend the baptism of one of the sweetest girls in the world! Her name is Kylie and she is from Korea. She used to come to my ward, and we work together. I absolutely love this girl, and I am so happy for her. What is even more exciting, is there are going to be TONS of people at her baptism - just to show her how much we all love her, and support her! It's going to be amazing! After the baptism, a group of us are going to get together and have brownie sundaes, play Disney Scene-it? and then play night games. It's going to be great!

Another funny tangent (I'm famous for these) - I realized today how appropriate my blog title is. I love this thing - it's the perfect outlet for the many ramblings of my mind. Sometimes it reminds me that in spite of the crappy stuff going on right now, life is still great. Other times, it reflects the wonderful things happening to me. Either way, life is beautiful, especially today!

How do you say...

So, I finished that bloody genetics class on Tuesday. It feels nice to not be stressing out about it anymore, but, honestly, I thought being done with it would be a little more exciting than it's turned out to be. I have to admit, when I decided to stay in Utah this whole summer, I thought I would get to do lots of "fun" things, like bike rides, trips to anywhere but Provo, hiking, or camping. I also promised myself I would spend more time with my family that lives just twenty minutes away. Don't get me wrong, I have had fun (my roommates are incredible - we've come up with more inside jokes in the last two weeks than I think I've had with any group of friends in my whole life!) - but mostly in a movie-watching, card or board game playing kind of way. With the weather as beautiful as it is around here (meaning not so humid you choke to death at 85 degrees), I just thought I'd be doing more.

So, while I did finally finish my genetics class, this week has been rough. My roommate Rachel left Sunday morning, and our "fifth roommate" suddenly decided to fall off the face of the planet. Interestingly, my other roommate ran into him at lunch yesterday. From what she said, he seemed to feel a little bad that he didn't even stop by to congratulate me about my genetics class (to his credit, he did text message). So, here's my question. If we're friends, and he acknowledges the fact that he hasn't been a good friend recently, why doesn't he do something about it? Why have I still not seen him for four days? I'm not angry. Just hurt. I care about that boy very much, so I guess I expect too much sometimes. But, I am tired of being forgotten. He gets until 8:30 pm, then I'm making plans for the weekend, and we will go over a week without seeing or talking to each other. It will probably bother me more than it bothers him, anyway. I feel so childish saying that, like I'm some silly schoolgirl trying to get back at my best friend.

Maybe that's why it hurts so bad, I really do consider him my best friend. Some people have asked me if he and I are dating. I always answer no. But, I did casually mention that fact to him a few days ago. I don't know, I guess I figured he had a right to know and it was better to be honest with him. Whether intentionally or not, that was about the time we stopped hanging out. I didn't tell him because I wanted him to date me - he's old enough to make that decision for himself. To be honest, it terrified me to think that by telling him what other people thought, I risked losing our friendship. Maybe I'm just being impatient, but, it sure looks like my fears were justified. I love spending time with him, but, I won't wait around for him. I used to play that game, and I'm done. I won't lie, though, it hurts. I thought we were better friends than that, but now I'm beginning to wonder. But, I'm tired of that too. I know I'm not a priority in his life, and that's fine - but lately, it's like we're not even friends.

I guess four days really isn't that long. But, when you go from seeing each other everyday to not seeing each other at all for four days, it's a drastic change.

So, how do you tell someone you love that you're disappointed and hurt when you are genuinely thrilled to see them because the last four days have completely stunk? I guess there's always a limit to how honest you can be with someone.