A Midnight Rant

So, I've decided that if I had my way in this world, the stupid dating games would be over and done with. Yeah, yeah, play the game but don't play games, blah blah blah. We all may hate it, but we know it's true that this whole college-age and beyond single life is a big giant game. At some point along the way everyone's at least subconsciously trying to give themselves a leg up in the eyes of the opposite sex, as it were.

For example: Guy hurts leg, leg looks awful, girl volunteers to help guy but has no stuff with which to help. I swoop in to save the day with my handy first aid kit, and suggest cleaning it with hydrogen peroxide and get a brief lecture on the validity of it's use in the given situation. Chill out girlfriend. Not interested in your new love interest, just trying to help and in no mood to argue this late at night.

Here's what I really hate - apparently every interaction between a male and female - unless it screams "I loathe you" - is taken by either one of the two parties involved, or an outside observer as "I'm madly in love with you!" I mean really people. Are we five? Is the world still divided into black and white - happy/sad, love/hate. Uh, no! We are much more complex than that, and dang it so are our relationships with each other. There is no black and white anymore, and furthermore, without a gray area in between not knowing the other existed to actually marrying and loving that person for eternity, how are we ever supposed to get to the point where we can confess said undying love?

So, here is my plea that I am sending out into the void - PLEASE STOP ANALYZING EACH OTHER!

Now make no mistake, as a female, this non-analyzing gig is a foreign concept to me, however, I am trying. And can I tell you that my happiest days are when I don't analyze my relationships? Seriously.

Take today for example. It was a holiday and for that reason I was able to go camping last night with 3 close friends, and then spend today traipsing around enjoying myself with my friends, without a care for time constraints, being able to talk, laugh, joke, and even occasionally flirt without worrying about a nosy person prying into my affairs and analyzing me.

Here's the flip side - that marvelous feeling of safety and security we feel with friends we trust can be shattered by people, however sincere they may be, jumping in with their personal analysis of the situation: "Wait, you're not dating him/her?!" "Oh, he/she must totally like you!" "Holy cow, you sat next to each other for two whole sacrament meetings... in a row!!!" Really? Really?! Do you think they needed your help to realize any of those things? And why must we assume that every kind gesture, toward ourselves, or another person is a profession of undying love? It's not. Why don't we believe that those kind gestures are just a manifestation of the innate good nature of that person? Can't we at least give each other that benefit of the doubt?

Now folks, I may be overreacting a little by ranting like this, but I'm SICK of people analyzing me and my relationships - it can end up destroying what could have been deep and lasting friendships - all because people can't keep their eyes, ears, and mouths to themselves.

So, in case it hasn't been made clear just yet - BACK OFF! There is no love triangle, octagon, hexagon, or whatever shape fits the situation the best. The love shapes don't exist, but in the place of these imagined love shapes, there are individuals who enjoy each other's company and are building relationships. And yes, people may occasionally practice their flirting skills on each other - but really, where's the harm in that? Is it really a problem to practice flirting when it feels like there's little risk of some sort of awful retribution for it? If anything, it seems that practicing in a safe-zone makes it natural and easier to flirt with other people later. And well, let's say that sometime in the future a relationship develops into something more. Well huzzah for you! You suspected it all along, Yay hooray, you're just great. Oh but wait, this was never about YOU in the first place. So take a step back and try to be happy for your friends or acquaintances who have found someone they feel compatible with, and don't you dare start thinking wedding bells. Let them experience the joy of a budding relationship without your constant analysis - if it develops into something eternal, believe me, you'll be notified - they're called wedding announcements and they're generally located on most refrigerators in Provo.

Well, I have things to do tomorrow. And while writing has a therapeutic role in my life, hence the above rant, I must end this now. Please consider my plea, dear void, and perhaps take my advice to leave others alone in their relationships. Trust me, it's hard enough to find someone you enjoy spending time with, why make it harder by adding your astute analysis to the millions of analyses of their own they fight against constantly. For my part, I'm going to seriously work on my natural tendency to analyze, and I also vow to not let the selfish analyzing punks to impose their "insights" on me and ruin my day. Because in spite of that event and this rant, today was wonderful - because I felt safe, content, and happy surrounded by those I have come to love doing exactly what we wanted to do when we wanted to do it, however spontaneous and reckless it may have seemed to the outside world.